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Anyone who knows me knows I’m an awful sleeper. I toss and turn and kick, and basically it’s physically dangerous to sleep in a bed with me. Occasionally all of this is magnified by horrible insomnia that will kick in for 3-4 nights in a row. I’ve had sleeping issues for years now, but the relationship has become amazingly unhealthy in law school. The biggest problem is that school insists on scheduling classes during the daytime.

Vampire Academy (novel)

Image via Wikipedia

See, some schools understand my needs.

I’m not the only student with this complaint. Most law students have some class-free days, and some commitment heavy days, and those of us who aren’t powerhouse law school students all do something along the lines of this (at least I tell myself other people do this so that I can pretend I’m not a total freak):

Monday: On campus by 9 am with a heavy schedule of shit-to-do until 9 pm. Get home, try to convince myself to do work, but end up watching a marathon of Doctor Who on Netflix Streaming in bed in my underwear with a bowl of whatever counts as dinner that night. Finally forcing myself to go to bed at midnight, thinking “Fall asleep, fall asleep, fall asleep! You have to be up in 6 HOURS!” Fall asleep at 3 am-ish.

David Tennant and Freema Agyeman in Doctor Who

(Photo credit: lisby1)

His face is too beautiful to say goodnight to.

Tuesday: Wake-up at 6 am to do that one-page stupid as fuck “response” assignment that I was too much of an asshole to do the night before. Get to campus for my morning class. Have a bunch of shit-to-do until 6 pm-ish. This is where it gets abusive because Wednesday is a “free day,” and so this type of thinking starts:

“Well I’ve been so busy the last two days, and I can do work tomorrow, so maybe tonight I’ll go to trivia night at the bar, and just take the night off.”

“Oh look, it’s 11:30 Colbert is on. I should watch that because I need to know what’s going on in US politics.”

“Oh look, it’s 1 am. I’m not tired. I haven’t watched Shameless yet this season.”

**Internet. Internet. Pluck eyebrows. Squeeze blackheads on nose. Internet.**

“Oh crap, it’s 4 am. How did that happen?!”

English: A clock made in Revolutionary France,...

I don’t understand you. No really. WTF is happening here?

Wednesday: Wake up. “HOLY FUCK IT’S 1PM, AND I’VE DONE NOTHING! Well first I need to shower – it’s been a few days. Gotta tidy up my room. I wanna go to CVS and find a new body lotion, this one makes me feel greasy. Also, I should stop at the grocery store. I need to call my gyno, it’s been two years since my yearly. I need a manicure.”

** Errands. Unnecessary errands that I made up. Starbucks. **

“Oh man it’s 7 – dinner time, and I should really get to bed early tonight. I guess I can do all that work I was supposed to do today, during my 1.5 hour lunch break tomorrow because that’s reasonable.”

Bed by 10 pm, but my body won’t sleep because it only woke up nine goddamned hours ago. Think watching an episode of Whitney will put me to sleep. It doesn’t. Watch 3 more episodes. Toss. Turn. Pillow falls on floor. Fall into a fitful sleep at 4 am.

Thursday: Up at 6, class and shit-to-get-done until 6-ish. Usual work-TV conflict. Asleep by 3 am-ish.

Friday – Sunday: Watch a season of something. Feel shame. Visit friends. Drink. Avoid doing work at all costs. In bed between 3 and 4 am every night. Restart weekly cycle.

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