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For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you probably saw this incident referred to in a nonsensical Tweet two days ago.

I walk into class early to finish an email. The guy who sits behind me in that class is one of those 1Ls who loves the sound of his own voice, and has yet to learn that none of it matters and none of us are snowflakes, etc. He, of course, is already there and is reading something on his laptop while not-at-all-discreetly chortling sort of under his breath, and sending whispered ‘unbelievable’s’ into the world hoping, just PRAYING, that one of the 5 others of us already there would ask, “What good sir? What is so unbelievable and witty? Please tell me, because I am so goddamned interested.” You know, minus the sarcasm.

Portrait of a male tabby cat

Photo credit: Wikipedia

Please tell me. I’m waiting with bated fucking breath.

Unfortunately, someone did. 1L was so excited I thought about asking him if he needed a tissue for the ejaculate. I restrained myself.

classy dude

Flickr Photo credit: jonthor6

Because I’m motherfucking classy.

He launched into a prepared speech about the SCOTUS transcript from the healthcare hearing, and how it was more the judges just arguing with each other through the lawyers, as if that’s some kind of revelation he just laid on us. I despise him, and yet I pity him. I wonder what he’ll be like in 2 years. Hopefully beaten down and despondent so that I know it wasn’t just me.