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During my orientation to law school, one of our opening speakers talked about how we all made it to law school by being Type A personalities. At the time I thought, “Yea, totally. That’s me.” because I was still untouched by law school and therefore still delusional.

And then came the day that I met my first real-life judge. In my head I saw this:

I will incinerate you and then bake a Sunday pie.

What showed up was this:

Has anyone seen my carpetbag of briefs? WHERE ARE MY GLASSES?

The majority of law students (and lawyers) are more interested in the trappings of being Type A, than in actually being Type A. Let me explain. Go up to any law school student and mention needing to buy office supplies at Staples. Go on, I’ll wait. This is the reaction you get:

I may poop from excitement! Squeeeeeeee!

Ask a law student on a Monday their schedule for the week. They’ll whip out their latest task list, complete with bullet points and indentations. Ask them on Friday how much of that actually got done.

No wait don’t.

Lay people will point to their fancy $500 an hour attorney who has diligently and successfully represented them in various blah blah blah. And, the stereotype in pop culture of this suited up, hyper-organized attorney who always has exactly the right document or fact or case ready to throw at the opponent and beat the shit out of his latest counter-point has to come from somewhere right? Guaranteed 9 out of 10 times that attorney is just as much of a hot mess as I am on a Friday night. The difference? He has a secretary, and a junior associate, and a paralegal, and an intern.

Hi. Meet my soccer team of organization.

There is one time that a law student will be an awesomely together person: on a day when they have an interview scheduled. On that day a law student will rise to her highest potential, and will experience a burst of composure and productivity. The result?

I held it together for 4-5 hours. Don’t talk to me for at least another 48.