I’m Wide Awake (and It’s Goddamned Glorious)

Here is all I ever want to say again about the bar exam: I never pray . . .

but I did that first day. I felt stupid doing it so my Catholic upbringing took over and I was just saying Hail Mary’s and Our Father’s on repeat while rocking back and forth crying. Which is pretty much how it all ended, because, while others in my venue were whooping and clapping after the proctor yelled “TIME!” I was rocking back and forth giggling to myself like a bug-eyed maniac.

Bug Eyed

Flickr: endora57

He. Hehe. Heheheh. AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I hope you all are having as much fun as I am being free of law school/the bar. Here is my life in pictures post bar exam.

Thursday: I had to fly home alone, but I had enough time in the airport for a few of these.

It was so fucking delicious. Beer tastes better when you’re a free woman.

I hadn’t slept well in so long that by the time I got on the plane I was legit stumbling. I hit on the rich old guy seated next to me, which was amusing until he followed me to my gate for my connecting flight.

Sometimes, every now and again, life can be really beautiful. Just not your shiny bald head dude.

Friday: Hick house party complete with beer, Franzia, a heated discussion about Israel and scorched earth that almost led to a soldier/civilian showdown, and a game of Nails. Never heard of Nails? All you need is a hammer in one hand and a beer in another. Oh, and the ability to aim.

Unless hitting yourself in the thigh full force counts, I don’t have that last one.

Saturday:

Rose: “What are you up to today?”

Me: “Recovering from 48 hours of no sleep and a wicked hangover. You?”

Rose: “Going to an annual block party out by me. It’s all my crossfit buddies and it gets fucking crazy. Ann’s coming too.”

Me: “Maybe I’ll come to that. How long’s the drive?”

Jack Daniels Logo

All I will say is that I found a long list of pictures on my phone that I don’t remember taking and that I wouldn’t post, even here. Rose – you’re the best.

Sunday:

I’M BACK BITCHES!!!

Phoning It In

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Oh.. Hey there… Still alive? That’s nice.
You should watch this. It’s totally worth the 7.5 minutes. The airing of the final episode of Friends is still one of the more traumatic memories of my childhood. That and the series finale of Dawson’s Creek. I’ve led a pretty calm life.

There is a compilation on YouTube of all 10 seasons of bloopers. It’s an hour and 5 minutes long. I’m considering watching it. I know nothing.

Things Not To Say To Someone Studying For The Bar Exam

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First off, does it piss anyone else off that the entirety of America does not seem to be aware that there are people studying for the bar RIGHT NOW? Like, get the fuck out of my way lady who is floundering in front of the thing I want to eat for dinner from Whole Foods. What you have problems? NO YOU FUCKING DON’T. I don’t even care.

Okay, now that we all understand that, here is a list of things that non-bar takers should not, under any circumstances, say to those of us studying for the bar:

1. You’re going to be fine.

2. You can get through this. It’s only two more weeks of your life.

3. You know so much already. More than you think you do.

4. How’s studying going? (Or any variation thereof, including, but not limited to: How are you feeling? How are you handling things? Are you getting enough sleep?)

5. Have you seen the new ______ movie?

6. Hi.

Singer Brandy Norwood in September 16, 2010.

Wikipedia

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!

I Have Lost My Goddamned Mind

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I can no longer form complete. . . If you’re not yet a 3L RUN AWAY . . . This blog is not meant to transmit (transmute? trasmutation?) legal advice. A confidential relationship has not . . . words. Words. WORDS!

Here are pictures and stuff:

1. I am so Jelly of Guzman’s Tan

Is that paint? The only tanning I do is when I drive to the library with the top down on my car.

“Don’t be worried about this standard. It will be really obvious on the exam.”

No. It’s not fucking obvious. If it was obvious, I WOULDN’T BE GETTING ALL THE QUESTIONS WRONG.

2. I love you. You are the best thing to come out of this hell. Never leave me.

My life is sad.

3. The lost souls of last week

R.I.P

4. Texts From Rose

“I got so drunk after the MBE Simulation I ended up alone wandering around a golf course at 1 am. It took my friends hours to find me. My buddy Pat got on the wrong train and woke up in New Jersey.”

“I’ll have you know I’m in capris, a neon pink bra with my hair in braided pigtails as I wander around my apartment with my MPQ book humming Katy Perry. I look/sound absolutely ridiculous in a farmerish sort of way and I think/ no i am pretty sure I’ve lost my mind. You win bar prep. You win.”

“I need a good text to send back. Something that says: I don’t have time to flirt right now. I have time to fuck.”

5. Found This Little Guy Hiding Out In My MPQ Book

This is either a 0% or a 100%

6. It’s The Little Things

Note the colors

7. I just. I just don’t understand. Someone hold me.

MBE Simulation you are an endless provider of shame and self-hatred. Much like Catholicism.